The First "Oh Shit"

Oh shit, there is no other way to describe it. OH SHIT. Heart stopped, up near the top of my throat. Face frozen, hands flailing to find the off-switch.

After watching Galen for five months, it had finally happened. The moment of stark terror and then the blessed rush of relief. And then the thoughts: How did I let that happen? How bad is it? Water, flashlight, tongs, and five mintes later it is alright.

Most weekday evenings I wash the tools of Shanna's labor, the parts of her breastpump, along with the pots & pans of the day. There are the breastshields, connectors, valves, and collector bottles. And don't forget the bottles with their nipples and collars. It's the valves that are most worrisome. They are small and hard to find floating around in the water.

I had strained my hands through the dishwater at least twice. All is clear: start the water: flip the switch: GRGRRRR, the garbage disposal chews through whatever organic material that was on the dishes. And then I felt something hard in the soapy water, something that shouldn't be there. OH SHIT!! Quick, off with the disposal. I strained my hands again, but felt nothing. I know it was there, but where did it go? Aghhh, into the disposal itself. I tried to look but saw nothing but soap. Water, that will rinse out the soap. Ahh, this is taking forever, I still can't see. There, bare metal, but it's sooooo dark. Where is that flashlight? Is that it? Yes. Is it OK. Tongs, tongs will let me reach it. Hallelulah, it's OK, the valve assembly is OK.

Relief. Time for a glass of wine. Time to make dinner. Time to let go of my first OH SHIT.